Anxiety, Depression, and Our Kids – The Hidden Crisis
Anxiety, Depression, and Our Kids – The Hidden Crisis
There’s no way to sugarcoat this: kids today are struggling. And not just with homework, sports schedules, or whether they get the front seat in the car. I’m talking about anxiety and depression—the silent battles too many of them are fighting.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
According to the CDC, 1 in 5 kids between 3 and 17 struggles with a mental health disorder, including anxiety and depression.
Rates of teen depression have increased by more than 60% in the last decade.
And here’s the part that makes me stop cold: suicide is now the second leading cause of death for kids and teens ages 10–17.
Let that sink in. Ten years old.
These aren’t “grown-up problems” anymore. They’re kid problems—our kids’ problems.
Why It’s Getting Worse
It’s not just genetics or bad luck. The environment our kids live in is feeding this monster:
Social Media Pressure: Likes, follows, filters—it’s a comparison factory. Kids don’t just see their friends anymore; they see everyone, all the time, looking happy, perfect, and successful.
Information Overload: News, disasters, arguments—all delivered instantly to a screen in their hands.
Isolation: More screen time, less real time. The “connected” world has left a lot of kids lonelier than ever.
And the kicker? Their brains aren’t fully developed yet, so they don’t have the perspective to see through it.
My Daughter’s Question
The other night, after school, my daughter asked me something that stopped me in my tracks.
She said, “Dad, what’s the difference between being sad and having depression?”
She’d been talking with a friend who was clearly struggling. This wasn’t just a rough day or a bad mood—it was deeper. And my daughter noticed.
I could see the concern in her eyes. She wanted to understand, not just brush it off.
So we sat at the table and talked. I told her sadness is like the weather—storms come and go. Depression, though, is like being stuck under the clouds for weeks or months, with no break of sunshine. One is part of life. The other needs help.
She nodded, quiet, taking it in. And in that moment, I realized two things:
Our kids are noticing more than we give them credit for.
They need us to help them make sense of it.
What Dads Can Do
No, I don’t have all the answers. But here are a few things I’m trying to do for my daughter—and maybe they’ll help you with yours too.
Normalize the Conversation
If we treat mental health like a taboo subject, our kids will too. I make it normal to ask: “How are you really feeling today?”
Teach the Signs
Sadness, worry, stress—they all come and go. But I talk to her about the red flags: if sadness won’t go away, if she loses interest in everything, if she feels hopeless—that’s when it’s time to tell me or another adult.
Model It Myself
I don’t hide when I’m stressed or struggling. I tell her: “Dad’s having a rough day. That’s okay. I’ll get through it.” It shows her emotions aren’t weakness—they’re part of life.
Create a Safe Zone
I want her to know she can talk to me about anything—without fear of punishment or shame. Even if it’s awkward. Especially if it’s awkward.
Dad’s Reflection
When my daughter asked me about sadness and depression, I didn’t feel ready. Honestly, I don’t think any dad feels ready for that conversation. But here’s the truth: ready or not, it’s here.
The ledges our kids face today aren’t just physical—they’re emotional. They need to know we’ll catch them when they leap. And sometimes, catching them means listening, validating, and pointing them to real help when they need it.
Because the greatest gift our kids can give us is trust. And the greatest gift we can give them is the space to use it.
A Challenge for Other Dads
This week, carve out a moment—at dinner, in the car, before bed—and ask your kid: “How’s your heart today?” Not just grades, not just sports—their heart.
It might feel awkward at first. They might roll their eyes. But keep asking. Keep showing up.
Because the storm clouds aren’t going away on their own. And our kids need to know they’re not facing them alone.