The Power of “Please” and “Thank You” – Why Manners Still Matter
When I was a kid, my parents drilled it into me: “Say please. Say thank you.” At the time, I figured it was just one of those rules like “don’t put your elbows on the table” or “stop using your shirt as a napkin.”
But now that I’m a dad? I see manners for what they really are: superpowers.
A simple “please” opens doors (sometimes literally). A “thank you” shows respect, gratitude, and humility. And in a world where everyone’s rushing, complaining, and interrupting, manners stand out more than ever.
The Difference a “Thank You” Makes
The other day, my daughter asked for a snack while watching TV. “Dad, can I have some crackers?” she said. I handed them over. She took the bowl, looked at me for half a second, and then turned right back to the screen.
So, I calmly took the crackers back and walked away.
Outraged, she spun around. “Hey! Where are you going with my snack?”
“You didn’t say thank you,” I told her.
Mean? Maybe. But not because I need a trophy for handing out Goldfish crackers. It’s because those two little words matter. They mean she understands respect and that she doesn’t take people (or snacks) for granted.
The House Rule
Flip side? I’ve had kids over at the house who grab snacks, demand drinks, and act like our living room is a hotel lobby. No “please.” No “thank you.” Not even a nod. Just crumbs on the couch and sticky fingerprints on the TV remote.
Guess what? Those kids don’t get invited back.
Here’s the deal in our family: if you can’t say “please” and “thank you,” you don’t get a repeat invite. Period. And yes, that usually involves explaining it to their parents, too.
It’s not about being strict for the sake of it. It’s about setting a standard. My house isn’t a free-for-all. It’s a place where respect and gratitude are the price of admission.
I’ve told my daughter, “If your friends can’t use manners, they can go back to their own snack cabinet.” She laughed at first, but she gets it. She knows that how people behave in small things, like asking for a juice box and how they’ll behave in bigger things later.
Why Manners = Leadership
Some people think manners are just old-fashioned. I think they’re timeless.
Because here’s the truth: leaders who say “please” and “thank you” get respect. Leaders who don’t? They get resistance. Nobody likes following someone who barks orders and never shows gratitude.
And it’s not just kids. I’ve been in meetings with grown adults who cut people off mid-sentence, demand things without acknowledgment, and never once say thank you. You know what happens? Their teams quietly tune them out. They stop going the extra mile. They start looking for the exit.
Now imagine raising a kid who grows up to be that kind of boss, or worse, that kind of spouse or friend. No thanks. I’d rather raise a leader who earns loyalty, not resentment.
How I Teach Manners at Home
Model It Myself – When I ask her for something, I say please. When she helps me, I say thank you. If I don’t model it, I can’t expect her to do it.
Make It Non-Negotiable – In our house, there are no freebies. You want a snack? Ask politely. You want help? Ask respectfully. Forget, and you’ll get a reminder.
Enforce the House Rule – Friends who don’t say please and thank you? Not welcome. That might sound harsh, but I’d rather set the boundary now than let my daughter think disrespect is normal.
Dad’s Reflection
I’ve seen adults in meetings who act like they missed the whole “please and thank you” lesson as kids. They interrupt, they demand, they expect the world to serve them and nobody wants to be on their team.
Every time I see that, I think: This is what happens when nobody taught them manners.
So if it makes me the “strict dad” for expecting kids (and parents) to say please and thank you at my house? Fine. I’ll wear that badge with pride.
Because one day, I don’t want my daughter to be the ungrateful kid who grew into the unmanageable adult. I want her to be the kind of leader who shows respect in every interaction, big or small.
A Challenge for Other Dads
This week, pay attention to how often your kids say please and thank you. If it’s not automatic, don’t scold, coach. Remind them. Praise them when they get it right.
And if their friends come over and skip the manners? Set the house rule. Teach them that respect is the entry ticket.
Because raising leaders isn’t about teaching kids to be perfect. It’s about teaching them that gratitude and respect are non-negotiables, whether they’re asking for a snack or asking for a job.